The turn I didn't see coming is that God is the one laughing at the end XDDD that the flaw was authored on purpose and the joke's been running the wholeeee time. You spend the first half among the butterflies and icicles and I settled in thinking this was going to be pretty, and thennn you set the poets up as thieves who mistake a gift for their own skill, and I stopped feeling safe in the prettiness... (Seriously, Rafa??) I had to slow right down at the black-sheep poets forcing the rock. Nineteen and already writing in a form most people never earn, that gets me a little indignant on your behalf, honestly, that you were this good that early.
~Asuka-chan! It was such a treat today, reaching the bottom of my notification pile to discover a double dose of your fine, double-stitched comments.
I feel like I’ve mostly wasted my opportunity to develop as a writer, by taking an almost-20-year break from it in spite of being pretty good early on. Nowadays I am absolutely guilty of taking pleasure at being complimented for how prodigious I used to be — as I no longer believe myself to be ahead of this particular curve. (And I must receive my praise where I can get it.)
You try so hard to believe in me, and I fight you. I am not a very good friend, but remain eternally grateful for the steadfast support. 🌹
Rafa, this is fantastic! I had to postpone reading you for a couple of days and now I'm glad. Because this was the poem I first of your poems I encountered tonight. You are such a talented poet.
I think the majority of my better work is in the “Poems & Songs” section of my publication, so you might want to check out some of those if you have the time. These “Raw Verse” posts are mostly archival, and a way to preserve momentum while focusing on reading & interacting with others.
I hope you are well. I am not worthy of your praise, but will gladly take it.
Good morning, Yael! I love the phrase "a harmonious tone of irony."
Here, I try telling of an ironic occurrence which could be interpreted as symbolic for an entire array of more commonplace ironies, using simple descriptive narration. I think this is the source of the opacity you've identified.
Thanks for allowing this to seep in, and elucidating it. ☺️
i am stunned by the imagery and charm in these poems, rafa. loved this whole theme of feeling like you're missing out on some big cure-all answer being deeply feigned, and fear being used against a collective successfully. the words you use to bring this to life sets such an interesting atmosphere that i only really associate with you at this moment. rafa tells the tales. great work!
Thanks for continuing to read these, ryv! You’re truly one of my greatest supporters here.
A lot of this imagery is really just the product of contrivance. For example, what do bicycles and icicles really have in common, besides sounding similar? Try to answer this (rather silly) question… and the rest of the poem just flows out. It almost feels like having cheat mode enabled.
of course! 🫶 i see that you’ve posted a lot of new work too - and honestly, it would be a waste not to catch up when i can. i feel that you always challenge yourself with your writing, whether serious or silly.
well, i think that to make the contrivances work, like you have also told me before, is the mark of a creative mind. ❤️🔥 cheat code enabled for when you’ve asked enough silly questions to be able to pump out a combination no one anticipates. i do think good writing or creative work also comes from asking good questions! (even if said question is the commonality of bicycles and icicles!)
You've hit upon the age-old question of why seasoned writers never seem to be able to dispense with much meaningful writing advice. They know their departure point and destination, but the flight path is a mystery, having been charted by the co-pilot in their mind, who they've been unconsciously training for their entire lives.
I've been posting poems every day recently, my goal being (ideally) to allow anyone who feels like *catching up* to spend as much time as they please, doing so. When I'm finished posting my entire archive, I also intend to have them link togerher into a single timeline. But this will probably take a whole year or so to actualize.
I'd love it if you'd tag along with me, as I tread this lonely path.
i noticed! and in catching up, at least they'd know they are in for quite a bit of a buffet. how satisfying it would be to see it in a cohesive timeline after a whole year of seeing the shards before knowing how they line up.
i shall 🏃♂️ hope to make the path a little less lonely!
a song to raise morale! for my leave, i think i owe you a whole orchestra. for the intensity of staying on track, the first that came to mind was four seasons no.2 by vivaldi. i imagine much scribbling away to this one. for a more jovial tune, i thought of bach, brandenburg, concerto no. 3, movement ii&iii !
I just realized you're rockin' it in NYC. I'm originally from somewhere around there. How is life there, these days? Does it still feel like the center of the universe? ☺️
Firstly, love the Delita(such a great character). Secondly, yes it does haha but more in the sense that you get a taste of what the universe has to offer.
The turn I didn't see coming is that God is the one laughing at the end XDDD that the flaw was authored on purpose and the joke's been running the wholeeee time. You spend the first half among the butterflies and icicles and I settled in thinking this was going to be pretty, and thennn you set the poets up as thieves who mistake a gift for their own skill, and I stopped feeling safe in the prettiness... (Seriously, Rafa??) I had to slow right down at the black-sheep poets forcing the rock. Nineteen and already writing in a form most people never earn, that gets me a little indignant on your behalf, honestly, that you were this good that early.
~Asuka-chan! It was such a treat today, reaching the bottom of my notification pile to discover a double dose of your fine, double-stitched comments.
I feel like I’ve mostly wasted my opportunity to develop as a writer, by taking an almost-20-year break from it in spite of being pretty good early on. Nowadays I am absolutely guilty of taking pleasure at being complimented for how prodigious I used to be — as I no longer believe myself to be ahead of this particular curve. (And I must receive my praise where I can get it.)
You try so hard to believe in me, and I fight you. I am not a very good friend, but remain eternally grateful for the steadfast support. 🌹
Where is this king shephard and how do I sign up for the briefings? :D
I think he’s out drinking with The Absentee Landlord.
No idea what you’re on about, but I’ll be out drinking soon enough, and I hope I’ll run into them :D
Just thinking of another nickname for the monotheistic God. He's got almost as many as the devil.
Rafa, this is fantastic! I had to postpone reading you for a couple of days and now I'm glad. Because this was the poem I first of your poems I encountered tonight. You are such a talented poet.
Thanks so much, Kelly!
I think the majority of my better work is in the “Poems & Songs” section of my publication, so you might want to check out some of those if you have the time. These “Raw Verse” posts are mostly archival, and a way to preserve momentum while focusing on reading & interacting with others.
I hope you are well. I am not worthy of your praise, but will gladly take it.
This one is so good!
The lean towards a harmonious tone of irony, makes it so special…
Like a sense of something we just can grasp its surface.
(I read it a couple of times and that makes me find it much more satisfying.)
Good morning, Yael! I love the phrase "a harmonious tone of irony."
Here, I try telling of an ironic occurrence which could be interpreted as symbolic for an entire array of more commonplace ironies, using simple descriptive narration. I think this is the source of the opacity you've identified.
Thanks for allowing this to seep in, and elucidating it. ☺️
Thank you, it was indeed delightful!
i am stunned by the imagery and charm in these poems, rafa. loved this whole theme of feeling like you're missing out on some big cure-all answer being deeply feigned, and fear being used against a collective successfully. the words you use to bring this to life sets such an interesting atmosphere that i only really associate with you at this moment. rafa tells the tales. great work!
Thanks for continuing to read these, ryv! You’re truly one of my greatest supporters here.
A lot of this imagery is really just the product of contrivance. For example, what do bicycles and icicles really have in common, besides sounding similar? Try to answer this (rather silly) question… and the rest of the poem just flows out. It almost feels like having cheat mode enabled.
of course! 🫶 i see that you’ve posted a lot of new work too - and honestly, it would be a waste not to catch up when i can. i feel that you always challenge yourself with your writing, whether serious or silly.
well, i think that to make the contrivances work, like you have also told me before, is the mark of a creative mind. ❤️🔥 cheat code enabled for when you’ve asked enough silly questions to be able to pump out a combination no one anticipates. i do think good writing or creative work also comes from asking good questions! (even if said question is the commonality of bicycles and icicles!)
You've hit upon the age-old question of why seasoned writers never seem to be able to dispense with much meaningful writing advice. They know their departure point and destination, but the flight path is a mystery, having been charted by the co-pilot in their mind, who they've been unconsciously training for their entire lives.
I've been posting poems every day recently, my goal being (ideally) to allow anyone who feels like *catching up* to spend as much time as they please, doing so. When I'm finished posting my entire archive, I also intend to have them link togerher into a single timeline. But this will probably take a whole year or so to actualize.
I'd love it if you'd tag along with me, as I tread this lonely path.
i noticed! and in catching up, at least they'd know they are in for quite a bit of a buffet. how satisfying it would be to see it in a cohesive timeline after a whole year of seeing the shards before knowing how they line up.
i shall 🏃♂️ hope to make the path a little less lonely!
You're doing great, Ryv! If you could sing as we quest along the path, that would raise morale even more. 😁 Do you know any good ones?
a song to raise morale! for my leave, i think i owe you a whole orchestra. for the intensity of staying on track, the first that came to mind was four seasons no.2 by vivaldi. i imagine much scribbling away to this one. for a more jovial tune, i thought of bach, brandenburg, concerto no. 3, movement ii&iii !
Beautiful
In the words of every tricycle ever built, "I tri."
Great whimisical flow, like a waltz of poetry.
Thanks so much, my friend.
I just realized you're rockin' it in NYC. I'm originally from somewhere around there. How is life there, these days? Does it still feel like the center of the universe? ☺️
Firstly, love the Delita(such a great character). Secondly, yes it does haha but more in the sense that you get a taste of what the universe has to offer.